Catholic Night at Heaven This Friday March 1st, Be There My Honeys

   We need to go out with a big bang my precious, precious boys and boy-girls and so this coming Friday in London at Heaven, the exclusive nightclub, not the place upstairs that we are promised if we're good, like kids who do their homework, but actually not a lot of us are really

going to make it there, lets just be honest here, but anyway, I digress. So this coming Friday in expectation of the coming implosion of the Catholic Church it has been decided after an all-night meeting of the secret gay cabal, well once-secret gay cabal, to just let our hair down, be wild, be free, be ourselves, be proud, and party, party, party ... all night long. There will be video hook-ups, metaphorically speaking, with all the old dudes and El Popo himself, who of course cannot make it this time, as much as he really, really would like too, but really shouldn't risk it because of the ongoing legal problems and the chance of falling into the hands of Interpol, and the Australian clergy have petitioned to have a live-feed, wouldn't want to miss this party for sure, but it was felt that the abominable criminal nature of their past crimes against children was just too, too god almighty much to

face, and this night would be about coming out, about acceptance, about being loud and proud, in our ermine tinged red robes and frocks or mighty spectres and wands, our stardust and glitter, our Dorothy slippers. About stopping pretending, about finally admitting 'who gives a hoot really' ... after all whats the big deal, its a silly, silly piece of utter foolishness that we have lived with all this time, shoot, some are gay some are not, who cares. We feel a tad guilty for our past transgressions on this issue, especially

considering our own mighty gayness but hey, lets just say "Sorry!" .. wave our hands in the air and get down.

  Refreshments will be provided by Smirnoff Vodka and Alqimia Tequila Anejo, best Cali homegrown is provided by the Archdiocese of Humboldt County, best golden Moroccan hash by Ali Ben Hashisheen from Fez, and the very, very best black Afghani will be flown in from that suffering, suffering country and offered at special extremely high prices, which we will not argue with, in fact we'll be obliged to trade in our rings and pearls for it, and all proceeds will go the children of the Khyber Pass. Music will be by Muchacho's Machismo Boogie Nights, prizes will be awarded for the best costumes, best dancer and best all round 'guy who can perform real cool gay sex acts which he had only dreamed of before but now has the chance to do.'

  And finally realizing that disco down gays so to speak represent only one color in our rainbow of gayness, we must point out that all 'ordinary' gay guys are welcome too, you know the ones just like the Postman or the Librarian or the T.V. repairman, all are welcome, but just come prepared to dance, prepared to indulge yourself, prepared to mix-it-up with the Newly Proclaimed and Announced Gay contingent of Catholicism, be there or be square ... for sure now.